As teachers we are expected to focus on the positive. Begin parent teacher conferences on a positive note. State class rules in positive sentences: say Walk instead of Don’t Run, say Keep Your Hands to Yourself instead of Don’t Hit. If we focus on the positive, the kids will focus on the positive. If we teach them the right way to do things, they won’t learn the wrong thing to do.
So why are we told to teach “No Bullying” instead of Be Kind to Others and Stand Up For Your Friends?
In my classroom, I choose to focus on kindness, feelings and language development. At this age I hope to prevent bullying–instead of creating it–by building character, strengthening self esteem and teaching appropriate ways to handle disagreements.
I recognize that bullying is a real problem, and it’s a very serious problem. However, this is a site dedicated to 4, 5, and 6 year olds. Children who are still learning how to make friends, how to be a friend, and how to handle anger. What can seem like “bullying” is often a small child who is frustrated or upset and doesn’t know the appropriate way to communicate those feelings.
The annual Anti-Bullying Week that over took our school every spring filled me with horrible dread because every year it created more problems than solutions.
When I taught the Anti-Bullying curriculum the first thing I had to do was teach my class what the word “bully” meant. It broke my heart because it stabbed away at their innocence. Instead of teaching them how to be kind and be a good friend, I had to teach them about mean children and what name we called them.
Once they learned that term, for the rest of the year if they had a argument, if they didn’t get their way or got their feelings hurt they called each other bullies. And so did their parents.
When adults are calling 5 year olds bullies, it’s time to re-evaluate what’s going on the schools and the media. I have had parents call a child they’ve never met a bully because that child got in a disagreement with their child over what game they wanted to play at recess. I’ve had parents report a kindergartner to the principal for being a bully because they took a book away from another child without asking. What child hasn’t done that? Now bad manners makes children bullies? How is that fair to the kindergartner who doesn’t have the language skills to ask for the book? Or the second language learner who doesn’t have the vocabulary to express his frustration?
Labeling a 5 or 6 year old, who do not always understand their emotions and are still learning the right ways to express themselves, with such a derogatory, inflammatory name is not only unfair, but a type of bullying itself.
Kids need to be given the language and vocabulary to express how and what they feel. Simply saying “Think about what you’ve done,” “Say you’re sorry” or “You know better” does nothing without the child having a clear understanding of what they’re feeling and why. It is our job as teachers and parents to teach help them understand what they feel, teach them the words to express those feelings–especially to their friends–and validate those feelings.
Those are the lessons I teach my students. Not, ‘this is a bully and this is what a bully does,’ because all that does is give them permission to call another child a name.
So, a few years ago I stopped participating in Anti-Bullying Week. Instead, I did a week on friendship, acceptance, diversity and understanding. And as always, we read books and did mini-lessons on feelings and appropriate ways to express those feelings. I taught the kids to accept one another, respect others and stand up for each other. And I never once used the term “bully.” They learned much more from a unit focused on positive behaviors than one that taught negative language.
All of this being said, I have had to deal with a couple of kindergartners and 1st graders who did “bully” other children. I have had classes who already knew the word “bully” and I have had kids in my class bullied by older children in the hallways or bathrooms. These were fortunately rare situations which were dealt with as they came up.
While I don’t condone involving small children in “Anti-Bullying weeks” or teaching No Bullying units, I do believe we need to teach them to stand up for themselves and for their friends. We need to teach them to accept differences and to deal with their emotions without hurting others. Using open discussions, role-playing, reading and writing activities and giving children the right words to say to express their anger or frustration all help with these lessons.
Kids will deal with bullies their whole lives. They will learn and use that term, they will get teased, they will see their friends get teased. But we have to consider the age and emotional maturity of these kids. Why introduce them to something negative before they experience it? Why not give them the tools and confidence to deal with situations in a positive, productive manner before they need it, and without the name calling.
Resources:
Our role-playing, discussions and mini-lessons on feelings, manners and expressing ourselves appropriately came from a school adopted program called R-Time. Used school-wide it was a great at promoting healthy, positive relationships and it gave them the vocabulary to talk out problems and feelings–which is exactly what the little ones need! Check out their site (and sample activities): http://www.rtime.info/usa/
Books to Help Teach Friendship, Acceptance, Getting Along,
Five Minute Dance Party is always a favorite reward or brain break. The kids earn dance parties with class points, or from having an awesome day. They love dancing, it’s free, it gets them moving, gets the wiggles out, helps them focus and it’s fast and easy to do if you have little dance videos queued up and ready to go. Read here, here and here to see why dance, movement and music are important to child development.
My class from several years ago dancing to Hap Palmer’s Let’s Dance
Feet stay on the floor (For some reason kids think donkey kicks are good dance moves.)
No running
Stay in your Dance Space (No 1st grade mosh pit.)
Dance alone, no dancing together. (This prevents a lot of falling and knocking each other over.)
Non-dancers must sit in a chair.
Some of our favorite dance music
Most of the time we dance to songs from CDs or the iPod, but some of the kids didn’t know how to dance and that made them very shy. We started watching Dance-Along videos on YouTube and it really helped the shy ones pick up some easy dances and boosted their confidence.
Yo Gabba Gabba–Dancey Dance
These are each about 2 minutes so we often watched 2 or 3 of them, or the same one several times.
*Some of these have dancers holding hands and touching elbows, etc. So if you have a “no touching” rule just warn the kids ahead of time, or assign partners.
There are tons more on Sesame Street’s YouTube page or SesameStreet.org — just type “dance” in the search box.
High School Musical Dance Along
(My kids NEVER got these harder dance moves down, but none of them cared. And it was so cute to see them try.)
For calmer, more focused and directed dances, try these:
Hap Palmer:
Other great Hap Palmer songs (on CD) include Paper Clocks, Tap Your Sticks, Shake Something, Turn Around and Let’s All Clap Our Hands. I love these CDs and his soothing, calm voice.
Parade of Colors–No movement on this video. Each kid holds a colored card and they all have to listen to the song and follow directions.
A list of books organized alphabetically by theme, including units such as FAIRYTALES, BEARS, OCEANS and COWBOYS, and behavior management issues, including INTERRUPTING, TATTLING and FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS.
Topics include: Diversity, Learning Differences, Being True to Yourself, Holidays, Rhyming, Fluency, Honesty, Manners, Math, Perseverance, Writing and many more.
When possible I’ve linked the book that comes with a CD.
If you can get a book with a CD, do it.
CDs are great for teachers when they lose their voice, they’re an awesome way for
children to increase their fluency because they’re hearing a variety of voices.
It also helps them with word-to-word correspondence.
*Scroll to the bottom for a list of fiction books boys love*
Chapter Books To Read Aloud *For classics I try to find abridged or updated versions, the originals can be wordy, have outdated language and are difficult for the little ones to understand.
I’m Going to Build a Supermarket One of These Days by Bill Martin (out of print, but if you can find it, it’s such a fun book–great for teaching kids to think outside of the box and awesome for GT lessons)
Did you know that many of your 2nd language think they’re the only ones in the class that don’t understand you? Getting them to realize they’re not the only one, goes a long way in helping them feel comfortable and safe in your classroom.
Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes I love the part at the end where Mr. Slinger writes Lilly a note that says, “Today was difficult. Tomorrow will be better.”
Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney (A bit hard for K and 1st, but any book boys love, carry around, and obsess over–I’m going to let them have) (a series)
A Leprechaun has left their treasure for you to find. Follow the clues and see if you can find it.
This is a super fun activity that promotes reading, cultural learning, teamwork and detective skills. It’s also a great activity to write about afterward. This can be done around the house, or at school. I’ll outline how to do both.
Some sort of treasure box and treasure. Obviously this should be whatever you feel is appropriate. I’ve found a green plastic pot and gold covered chocolate pieces at Party City. Oriental Trading also has really cute stuff. Consider shamrock pencils, erasers, necklaces, etc.
Green and gold glitter–because everything is more fun with glitter.
At School
Plan early! You need to write out the clues, get them hidden, purchase the prizes and get the right people involved.
Get permission from your school officials since your class will be in the hallways and very excited–and it’s getting close to testing time. A good way to get approval is to ask them to participate. Most principals and office support love being involved and don’t often get to see all the little ones in the office.
Get as many school personnel involved as you can. Find out who has planning time at the time you’re doing, ask the nurse, librarian, secretary–whoever you can find.
**TIP** If possible find a parent or assistant to take half the class while you take the other half. This means making 2 sets of clues. (Use the same clues, just let one group go 5 minutes ahead of the other group.) Maybe a light green and a dark green set. Smaller groups allow more kids to have a voice in figuring out the clues.
Introduce the kids to St. Patrick’s Day by reading them a story such as Clever Tom and the Leprechaun: An Old Irish Story by Linda Shute (I usually do this the day before the treasure hunt because once they see the first clue the next day they’ll be too excited to sit for a story.)
Write the clues and stash them around the school. I try to have one clue for each kid, or one clue for a pair of kids so they each get a chance to read. See clue samples below. You might want to write the name of the kid who’s supposed to read it on the back. The more organized this is, the less chaos there will be.
Sprinkle gold and green glitter not the floor in the classroom. You could do glittery footprints or a trail leading up to the first clue.
The next day when the kids walk in the room the fun begins!
**I would definitely add green and gold glitter to the footprints.**
Sample clues: (This is a set I used for my classroom. Clues can easily be adjusted to a home, daycare, etc.)
Clue #1 Top O’ the Morning kids! I had fun playing at your school last night. But I lost my pot of gold. If you find it and promise to share you can keep my treasure. I was looking for a book about St. Patrick. Where do you think I went? (This clue is in the classroom.)
Clue #2 I read lots and lots of books in the library! It made me hungry for a snack. (This clue is left with the librarian.)
Clue #3 Mmmmm. I love green food the best. After my snack I I needed some healthy exercise. (This clue is left in the cafeteria.)
Clue #4 I wanted to call home to Ireland to see how my leprechaun friends were doing. (This clue is left in the gym or with the coach.)
Clue #5 Next, I wanted to talk to the big boss and see how you were behaving. (This clue is left with the school secretary.)
Clue #6 After going all around your school, I took a break in the nicest classroom I could find. It had a lion poster and 20 desks and round, red rug. (Describe the children’s classroom to lead them back there. This clue is left with the principal.) They can hunt all over the room for the “pot of gold.”
**Don’t forget to have the kids write or draw about what happened afterward!
St. Patrick’s Day is a great time to teach or re-teach about rainbows and prisms. Review ROYGBIV, and have the kids make rainbows with markers, crayons, pipe cleaners or torn paper.
St. Patrick’s Day Writing Prompts:
Write about the day you saw a leprechaun. How did you catch him? What did he say to you?
What would you do if you found a pot of gold?
What is a rainbow and why do we see them?
What did you learn about St. Patrick’s Day?
Pretend you found a four-leaf clover. Write about all the lucky things that happened to you.
Make a list of all the green things you can think of. Write a story about some of these green things.
Pretend you just found out your family is really a bunch of leprechauns. Write a story about what you wear, where you work and what you do together.
Write about all the ways in which you’re lucky. Include your family, your talents, your skills, etc.
Write a letter to a leprechaun. (Ask him for his gold.)
I found this while playing around Pinterest this morning:
List of Dr. Seuss books organized by reading level by Montessori Tidbits. Dr. Seuss and I Can Read By Myself books are still some of the best books to teach rhyming, sight words and other important early reading skills. While reading these books to toddlers is great because they get to hear rhythm and rhyming, this list is a fabulous resource for teachers who have little ones who are ready to tackle these books on their own.
